Thank you for coming to celebrate our father's life. I'd like to share a few reflections about our father with you.
My Dad was very outgoing. He loved to
engage anyone and everyone -- at any opportunity that came along. He often went
to bars to talk to people. He called this his
"bar ministry". He also loved to cook lots of Chinese and Indonesian
food -- especially at large events. He was never shy about speaking in public
and engaging in public life.
My Dad was a black belt in Judo. He
believed in the Judo way. Go with the flow and use your opponent's strength to
your advantage. He was an optimist and took advantage of opportunities as they
presented themselves.
My Dad was a dedicated peace activist.
He protested the Vietnam War. And he was against this most recent war with
Iraq. Right up to the end he was working on peace signs, peace letters, and
public events that would promote peace.
My Dad was a minister. He liked giving sermons. My grandfather was a
minister too. I am not a minister. But I hope you'll indulge me as I carry on
the family tradition and give a brief sermon here in honor of my father.
As parents we are often challenged by our children.
When our children do something wrong the classic response is to punish
them. Threatening words, yelling, and spanking are common consequences. Our children
are just children. They are learning. What do we wish to teach them? Do we wish
to teach them to use strong language, yell, or hit? Yet this is what we teach
when we employ these methods. The most memorable lessons we teach are by
example. We will all repeat the lessons our parents teach us, for better or for
worse.
We all wish to teach our children to be kind, loving, positive, and gentle
human beings. We wish to teach them to work out their issues in peaceful ways.
We do this by living it. We use positive consequences. People respond
better to honey than to vinegar.
The gentle positive way requires foresight and patience. The parent must
anticipate what is likely to happen and provide a positive role model in
advance. This is very hard work. It is more
difficult to do than using negative consequences. It is challenging to lead a
virtuous life. It is not simple and short, it is a long, steady climb.
A stellar example of good role modeling was embodied in another
Presbyterian Minister who died recently -- notably Mister Rogers. The role
models that most influence my own life these days are Jesus Christ, Mister
Rogers, and my parents.
As a nation, the United States is often challenged by other countries.
When other countries do something wrong, the classic response is to punish
them. Threatening words, economic sanctions, and war are common consequences. War,
however, is quite severe. Much more severe than spanking.
What do we wish to teach other countries? What do we wish to teach by example?
The harder path is to methodically promote peace and prosperity. If
everyone in the world were well educated and had their basic needs met, war and
crime would be greatly reduced. This is a more effective and productive way to
achieve peace than war and police states.
Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek. Mister Rogers asked "Will you
be my neighbor?"
It will be extremely hard, but our
nation must fulfill its destiny of being a role model for all other nations.
When this occurs, then we all can be proud of our more perfect union.
War or Peace? What lesson do we wish to teach,
what lesson do we wish to learn?
The lesson was clear to my Dad. He lived what he believed. And this is what
he has passed on to us, his children. Thank you. Amen.
War or Peace? What lesson do we wish to teach,
what lesson do we wish to learn?